Will You Let Me Explain?
by Illbehisangel10
Summary: Hermione knows she has to break up with Ron, but will he let her explain? What will happen when the couple meets up a few years later? Decided to expand past a one-shot.
1. Will You Let Me Explain?

AN: Harry Potter and all associated characters belong to J.K. Rowling, no copyright infringement intended.

Usually I try to fix all of the fictional relationships I like reading, but I'm in a really weird mood,so this got written. Also, I'm a huge Hermione/Cormac 'shipper, so I can write a break up scene for the Ron/Hermione pairing without getting too upset.

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><p>Ron PoV:<p>

"Ron, we really need to talk."

Uh-oh, I thought, conversations that followed this line were never good, in my experience anyway. I also know that if Hermione has something she wants to talk about, there's no way that I am going to get out of it. Let's see, what did I forget to do? "Okay, 'Mione, what's up?"

"Do you feel like everything is the way it should be? I mean really think and feel that everything is fine?"

Well, I had until she said that. I can feel my heart sinking. This beautiful girl in front of me was standing farther away from me than she normally did and she wasn't meeting my eyes. "What are you saying? Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"Ron, things haven't been the same with us for weeks. You can't tell me you haven't noticed anything. I- I'm just not sure I can be with you this way anymore. I loo-"

"No, don't finish that. I love you, I always will. Don't give me this crap about your feelings changing." How could she? After everything that we've been through together, she was telling me that she didn't feel that way anymore. This was worse than a nightmare. This, I can't wake up from.

"I'm sorry. I don't feel that way about you, the way I should, and the way that I used to." There were tears welling up in her eyes. It was obvious that this was causing her pain too. I took a deep breath, holding back tears of my own. I opened my arms up and she fell into them. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I'll never be able to say that enough."

"Just stop, okay?" She was still holding onto me, really tightly. I wondered if she was thinking the same thing I was. I once told her that I knew she was it for me. If we ever ended, I had told her I wasn't going to look for anyone else. He next words confirmed that we had, indeed, been on the same track.

She pulled away from me and said, "Will you promise me something?" I just looked at her so she continued on, "Will you promise me that you won't give up? Please, I know there is someone else out there for you. I know that there is, if you'll look for her."

"No, I told you that I wasn't going to look for anyone. I meant it. I'll always be here for you if you ever decide you want me again." I meant that. Under any circumstances, I would take her back in a heartbeat. Not that I could feel my own heart beat anymore, my heart was somewhere around my liver, lying in pieces. A few of her tears were spilling over. "Maybe you should leave now."

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><p>Hermione PoV:<p>

"You're right. Maybe I should. Again, I'm sorry. I really wish I could make myself love you the way that I used to and the way that you want me to. I-" He cut me off there. Not that I can blame him. He looked so broken. Tears were falling because I knew that I was the cause of his pain.

"No, I said stop. I can't stand here and hear you say that I'm not good enough for you. We've both known that from the beginning. You're beautiful, kind, and freakishly smart, but for some reason you wanted me." I knew that was how he saw it, but that couldn't be more wrong from how I saw it. I needed to try to explain things. I couldn't leave him with these thoughts.

"No, Ron. Will you let me explain, please" I looked at him, fully in the eyes and I took a deep breath. Hopefully what I said next could give him some closure without hurting him any further.

"Do I really have a choice? You're going to explain it to me whether I want you to or not." He sat down on his couch heavily.

"I do love you, there's no way I could ever stop. It's just, it's not the same way that I know that you love me. When you kiss me and then tell me you love me, I can see it in your eyes. And I feel horrible every time because I can't say it back with the same meaning."

"I really think that if we stayed together, yeah, we could be happy. We could live our lives together and it wouldn't be _bad_. It also wouldn't have been great like it can be for both of us, with other people. I've been thinking about it a lot. And I still don't know that this is the right decision, but it's nor fair to you if I don't do this."

"You've been nothing but perfect, Ron, really. You're an amazing boyfriend, and yes, I am scared that I'll never find someone as good as you are. At the same time, I really believe there is someone out there for you who can love you so much better than I can. I hope you find her and find her soon, there are people out there who it will be love with, not just happiness. You deserve that and I deserve that."

He wasn't moving, he was just staring straight ahead. "That's really all I wanted to say. I will always love you in this way and I really hope that you find happiness. Good-bye, Ron."

I stood up to leave and he stood up at the same time. He still didn't say anything so I turned to leave. I was almost to the door when he started to speak.

"Hermione, …"

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><p>AN: Well, I don't know how Ron would react if Hermione had said that to him, and I don't know how any other boy would react to being told that. I know I would be angry and would tell the person to leave. I'm pretty sure I'll never write the next chapter because I have no idea what to write for Ron's reaction. If anyone has any ideas aside from calling me a horrible person, feel free to let me know. You'll flame whether I ask you to or not, but please make reviews relevant to the story. Thanks.<p> 


	2. She's Not You

**A/N:**J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter and all related plot and characters.

In case anyone couldn't tell, the first chapter was pretty much an occurrence that happened to me and I was writing therapeutically. Now, I'm continuing. Nothing from the about the last fourth of the first chapter on is related to real life or what I wish would have happened or anything like that. I found that I really couldn't leave a Ron/Hermione break up. I kept writing different scenarios in my head, and this is one of them. I'll hopefully be continuing with chapter three soon. Sorry for the lack of depth in the OC's, I'm really bad at coming up with them.

Hermione POV:

Flashback:

"_Hermione, I don't think you're right. I don't think there's someone out there to make both of us happier. But if I- I mean if this isn't what's going to make you happiest, I'm not going to beg you to stay." _

_I had my hand on the door handle. I couldn't even look at him. "Good-bye, Ron. You're wrong. I know you'll find her. I know you will." And with that, I yanked the door open, shut it behind me and disapparated. Back in my apartment, I let the tears flow and sank to the floor. He was free and so was I. But that pain that I saw in his eyes, it broke my heart to be the cause of it. _

"_Please, Ron, you have to move on." No one was there to hear me and in the emptiness of my flat, the words seemed to hang in the air._

End flashback:

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><p>Hermione stared at the mirror. She'd never really enjoyed her reflection, with the possible exception of the Yule Ball, but that was a bust of a night. She'd learned how to style her hair so it was more manageable, but this outfit she was wearing just didn't seem her. Several friends from work were hitting the pubs tonight and had invited her along.<p>

One of her friends in particular had decided that Hermione had been single too long and tonight was the night to fix that. It was true that since she and Ron had split up a few years ago, she had been with few men. It wasn't that she wasn't asked out. She had plenty of offers, some of them she accepted, some she didn't, but none of them measured up. If she was completely honest with herself, none of them was the man she had left Ron to find.

One man who she had the longest, although still admittedly, short, relationship with, was McLaggen. He'd grown up little since Hogwarts. He was enough to make her happy, but he still had his ego. His whole idea that he was the greatest gift to women ever created was ultimately their undoing after she had denied him sex after little more than a few months of dating. His poor pride couldn't take it and he broke up with her.

Hermione had kept up with Ron through Harry and Ginny. Neither one of them had been happy about the break up, but they had both chosen not to take sides. Although she did hear from them, at the beginning at least, that Ron was going through a tough time. The fact that she was with Cormac had apparently made Ron and a bottle of firewhiskey new best friends. Of course this troubled her, but once she had heard that he'd stopped going on drinking binges, after she and McLaggen had split, the guilt eased, somewhat.

That guilt was never going to go away. She broke up with him with the best of intentions. That didn't make knowing Ron was in pain and that she was the sole cause of it any easier. Ironically, he had found someone. Ginny had let slip the last time that the two had seen each other, that Ron was seeing someone new. While her longest relationship, if you wanted to call it that, had been with a fabulous egotist, Ron seemed to have found a genuinely nice girl.

"So much for never looking for anyone else." Hermione thought to herself. The news had made her quite happy, with a very slight pang of jealousy. She truly wanted the best for him and she sincerely hoped he had found it in this girl.

A sharp rap on the door of her flat brought her out of her musings and back to the present problem of her appearance. She went to open the door and found her co-worker, Autumn, standing there.

"Ahh! You look great, Hermione! We'll help you land a guy tonight for sure!"

Autumn's zeal was contagious, but Hermione wasn't sure, showing this much skin wasn't a common occurrence for her. Not that the outfit was trashy, it just showed a little more cleavage than what she was usually comfortable wearing. "Are you sure? It's not too- "

"No! It's perfect. Don't you dare go change. Come on, let's head out!" With that, Hermione headed out the door and locked up her flat.

When they reached the pub where they were meeting up with other friends, she and Autumn joined the laughing group at a table. Music was playing and the dance floor looked enticing. As she and her friends scanned the room, looking for cute guys to ask to the dance floor, Hermione's gaze landed on a very familiar face.

Ron Weasley had just walked up to the bar.

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><p>Ron PoV:<p>

"Do we have to go to this place tonight?" Ron Weasley was whining, but he didn't care. He wasn't one for pubs or dancing. He was just fine with a night at home with his girlfriend.

"Yes, Ron, we do. We rarely go out and most nights just stay in and watch a movie. We're going." He shook his head at his girlfriend of 8 months, Janelle, and buttoned up his shirt. He could always pull out his wand and make her think that they had already gone out. No. It wasn't right. Just because he was a wizard dating a muggle didn't give him license to use magic on her. Janelle didn't even know magic existed. He would cross that bridge if he came to it.

Janelle walked out of the bathroom looking amazing. She had on a light blue dress and had her hair pulled back and in curls. A sharp pang hit his chest. She rarely did her hair like this, but whenever she did, it reminded him of Hermione. Janelle's usually stick straight hair was similar in color, but only when she took a curling iron to it did the resemblance affect him.

Three years later and he still wasn't over her. He had spent a fair bit of time staring at the bottom of various bottles. When that hadn't helped, he got up and did something with his life. He kept going to work, being an auror hadn't exactly been a snap while constantly hung over, so his job improved once he had cleaned himself up. While out on a mission, he had run into Janelle. After a few months of trading messages on the internet (a fascinating muggle communication device that he found much superior to owls) and some dates, they became "Official."

She had gotten him to open up to her. They had even talked about Hermione. Janelle also talked about a guy from her past. They were both healing and they were there to help each other. What he didn't share with her, though, was when she did things that were so very Hermione-like. He figured he would get over her with more time. Eventually.

When they pulled up at the pub, he turned to her and said, "You know I don't dance. I can stand at the bar and watch you, though."

"Please? Please, Ron, just one dance and then I'll let you stand at the bar and brood all night if you like!" She was giving him a puppy-dog pout.

"One dance. Just one"

"Yay! Thank you!" she squealed and practically dragged him to the dance floor. After the one dance was over he walked over to the bar and ordered a drink. He really could watch her dance all night. She loved it and it made her face light up. However, watching her spin around on the dance floor did bring up some memories of watching Hermione dance with Krum at the Yule Ball. At least Janelle wasn't dancing with anyone.

As he sat at the bar, he scanned the room. His eyes caught a very familiar pair staring back at him.

Hermione Granger was looking at him.

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><p>Hermione PoV:<p>

"I'll be right back." Hermione didn't even wait to hear her friends' reactions as she got up and made a beeline for where Ron sat. When they had locked eyes, he downed his drink as if it was a shot, which it most definitely was not. For some reason, she felt the need to go talk to him.

"Hey, Ron. How are you?"

He eyed her over the rim of his now empty glass. The last time they had seen each other had been when she had torn his heart out of his chest, and blasted it to pieces. Now she had the audacity to come over and ask how he is doing? "Umm, I'm fine, Hermione, really fine. You?" He signaled the bartender for another drink.

"Oh, I'm fine, just out with some friends tonight." As she gestured back at the table she had just left.

"I'm here with my girlfriend." Ron blurted it out. He didn't know why he had just said it like that. He really wanted her to know. He wasn't just at some random pub drinking himself into oblivion.

"I kind figured you would be. Ginny told me you were seeing someone. Where is she? It would be lovely to meet her."

"She's out on the dance floor. She loves to dance, I'll try to get her attention between songs. Why did you come over here, Hermione? We didn't exactly leave things on the best terms the last time we talked." It was true, they hadn't. Both of them had been crying, if she remembered correctly.

"Yeah, but, we've both moved on. We were friends before we ever dated. And I've heard about how happy she makes you. I was hoping we could at least be amicable toward each other." He let out a sigh.

"No, Hermione, I'm not sure we can be. Oh, this is Janelle. Janelle, this is, uh, Hermione."

"Oh! Hermione! I've heard so much about you! It's lovely to meet you, finally." She seemed genuinely happy and even hugged Hermione.

"It's lovely to meet you too. Although, I have to admit that I'm not sure you hearing about me is a good thing. I'm not sure how positive it would have all been." Hermione tried to put on a smile, but this girl's perkiness reminded her of Lavender's. What was Ron doing with a girl like this?

"Oh, well, you know… but I've heard from Harry and Ginny too. It's fine." Janelle glanced between Ron's expression and Hermione's. "I, umm, I'll just head back to the dance floor now. It really was lovely meeting you." With that she flounced back to the thrumming music.

"Well, she certainly is… enthusiastic."

"Don't start, 'Mione. She put me back together where you left me broken." He took a drink from his refilled drink and glared at her as if daring her to contradict what he said.

"I know. And I'll forever be grateful to her for that. I'll always feel guilty for hurting you like that, Ron, you have to know that. Did I mention I'm sorry?"

"Yeah, only about ten times that day. I know you are, Hermione, but feeling guilty and sorry doesn't change what happened." His eyes were staring in the direction of the dance floor, but not quite at Janelle. It seemed like he was focused on a memory and trying to make it look like he was focused on his girlfriend. "She's great, Hermione, really. Her enthusiasm, as you put it, offsets my moodiness when I don't feel like doing anything. She's smart, not like you, of course, but I can almost always understand her." He chuckled at that and so did she, it was so like Ron. "And she's bloody beautiful."

Tears had begun to form in Hermione's eyes and she blinked them back. This was exactly why she had broken up with him. This was the happiness that she had wanted to set him free for. She had no right to be upset at all. Even though the way he was talking about Janelle was so similar to the way he had once talked about her. "I'm so happy for you, Ron. She sounds perfect."

"No, she's great, Hermione. But there's one thing stopping her from being perfect." He took a deep breath and set down his glass.

"She's not you."


	3. You Still Love Her

**A/N:** third chapter up. J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter. I'm just playing with the characters and their emotions. Thank you for reading this and I hope you enjoy it! I can't decide if I think it comes off as rushed or not, so I'm sorry if you think it does.

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><p>Hermione POV:<p>

"She's not me? What do you mean by that?" I felt my heart-rate pick up. My more logical side instantly started berating my emotional side in my head, 'No! Stop it! You have no right to be excited about this. You left him. It's entirely your fault and you don't get to be excited if they aren't perfect. You wanted to give him a chance at better happiness so butt out!' All of this yelling at myself wasn't working and Ron was still sitting next to be watching the liquid in his glass swirl around as he tilted it.

He finally looked up, "I think it's fairly obvious what I mean, 'Mione. Janelle is great, but I still love you. Don't act like you didn't know that." He looked back down and took another drink.

"How could I have known that, Ron? We haven't spoken in years. We've barely even seen each other. I- I have to go." And with that I turned away from him and took off back to my table, grabbed my purse, walked outside and apparated back to my flat without even stopping to say anything to my friends who had dragged me out tonight.

He still loves me.

He still loves me.

He still loves me.

How is that possible? I sank down onto the couch and just stared at the wall replaying the entire conversation in my head.

I broke his heart and he still loves me.

He's got a fabulous girl who seems to really like him, and he still loves me.

I should be upset about this. I wanted him to move on and he has and hasn't at the same time. Yet, all I can feel is happiness. I've missed him so much. I didn't realize what I had with him until it was gone and I kept telling myself that I had done the right thing.

Had I? We were both in different types of unhappiness. I've been miserable, only I wasn't willing until tonight to admit that it was because I missed Ron. He's got someone new to be with, but he still thinks about me. We could be together and be happy again.

That's when it hits me. He may still think of me, but he is happy with her. Maybe not as happy as he was with me, but he is. They are content together. What was I thinking? He'd take one look at me after three years, dump her, and we'd just pick up where we left off? No. I can't destroy another of Ron's relationships. I gave him up, I can't have him back.

With that thought, I allow the tears to fall.

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><p>Ron POV:<p>

Janelle and I were coming back up my front walk when she turned to me and asked, "How was your conversation with Hermione?"

"What?" I honestly hadn't been paying much attention. Janelle had had to drive my car home, not just because I had been drinking, although that was all the reason she knew of, but also because my mind wouldn't have been anywhere near the road. I was replaying every detail of the evening about Hermione that my mind could conjure up.

"You're still thinking about her, aren't you? I don't believe this! When we met, you were still heartbroken over what she did to you. It took months for you to even be able to tell me what happened and she waltzes back into your life for one 15 minute conversation and she's all you can think about again."

By this time we were standing outside my door. Janelle looked ready to cry. "She was a big part of my life for a long time, Janelle, it's not like my past is ever going to go away. Come on, let's go inside and talk about this."

"No, Ron, because you know what else is never going to go away? Your feelings for her. You still love her." It wasn't a question. She knew it and I knew it.

"I've been trying to get over her, you know that." I tried to take one of her hands in mine, but she pulled it away. "Please, I want what we have to be real. You put me back together."

"I didn't put you all the way back together. She still holds so much of your heart that I could never have put you completely back together. If you love her that much, go to her, get her back. But don't stand there and try to tell me that it's ever just been us in this relationship. I know you've compared me to her and I know that in your head, I don't measure up. Her ghost will always be there if we continue this. I need someone who is actually with me when he's with me. Good-bye, Ron. Good luck getting her back because I feel sorry for any other girl you try to be with."

"Janelle! Please wait!" But she'd already run back up the walk and to her car. I watched her taillights fade away. Great, because my feelings weren't confused enough after running into Hermione, now my girlfriend broke up with me. She was right, though. Hermione was in my head. A lot.

I pulled out my wand and apparated to Harry and Ginny's.

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><p>Hermione POV:<p>

I had pulled myself together and was just making some tea when there was a knock on my door. I figured it was someone from work who had been there tonight coming to check on me. I didn't even care that I probably had mascara streaks on my face as I opened the door, "Ron!"

I slammed the door in his face in surprise. "Oh, dang!" I opened the door just a crack, but hid so that he couldn't see my face behind it. "I'm sorry, just give me a second! Stay right there."

I checked my reflection in the mirror I have hanging just inside the door and tried to wipe away any stray make up and raked my fingers through my hair. Oh, what was I doing? I opened the door back up again. "Sorry about that. Do you want to come in?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll come in. Can we talk? You left so quickly tonight."

He looked a little worse for the wear too. "Of course, sorry about that too. I was just… surprised, that's all. Please sit down. I was just making some tea."

"Got anything stronger?" He sat down on my couch and looked up at me grinning. "Kidding. I think I've had enough for the night. Although, given the circumstances, I'm not sure anyone would blame me. Ex-girlfriend you're still in love with walks up to you at a bar and starts talking, current girlfriend notices everything and ends up dumping you on your doorstep."

I nearly dropped the cups I was holding. "What! Oh gosh, Ron, I'm so sorry. I hope it wasn't my fault." I didn't. I may have wanted him back, but I wasn't wishing for his relationship to end.

"Of course it bloody well was your fault, Hermione. How could it not have been? She could see how I feel and how seeing you affected me." He got up off the couch and came to join me in the kitchenette right off my living room. "She did give me some good advice though, before she left, she told me to come get you back. She said she'd feel sorry for any other girl I tried to date. Then I went to Harry and Ginny's. And, well, Harry pretty much told me the same thing and where to find you."

I was stunned. Speechless. Life just doesn't work out this perfectly. Not even for "The Golden Trio" as some had called us back in our seventh year. "Ron, I had actually come home thinking about the possibilities, or lack thereof, of us getting back together. I do want you back, but I don't want your relationship with Janelle to be lost if it could have been the real thing."

"My relationship with Janelle was lost before it really started. You are my real thing. I knew it before, when you broke up with me. I think I even said so that day. If there's any chance of us getting back together, I want to take it." He was looking down at me with much more emotion that that teaspoon full I once told him he had. I was trying to blink back tears.

"But, just a few hours ago, you were so angry at me. Where did that go?"

"That came from the idea of talking to you without being with you. Do you think I wanted that? The pain of seeing you was too much. It turned into anger."

"Ron." That was all I could think to say. I hugged him and held on as though for dear life. "But we can't just jump back to where we were. We can't act though no time has passed."

He was still holding on to me, "No, we can't. But maybe we don't start out back as 'in love.' Maybe we start out back as friends and see where it takes us?"

It could happen. It really could. I made a horrible mistake and life was giving me the chance to fix it. I wasn't going to let it pass by me again.

"I think that sounds wonderful, Ron."

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><p><strong>AN:** I suppose I should put a time line on this- chapter 1 takes place about 2 years after the battle of Hogwarts. I always assumed all three would go back for their seventh year, so it's been one year out in the "real world." Chapters 2 and 3 are set 3 years after chapter one, as stated in chapter 2. This will be the last chapter and this time frame works for the epilogue to pick up where it does if they had Rose around 3 years after this chapter.

Thanks for reading!


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